meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
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