This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
