I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
