my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
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