Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
organizing the empties. That sober.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
