everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
