At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
