i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
