So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize