Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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