I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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