We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize