Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
