There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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