someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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