HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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