I'll bet she douches with gravy.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
