Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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