girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
