ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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