dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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