Your mouth is God's brothel.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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