I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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