im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
