are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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