so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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