I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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