remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
