Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
