Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize