my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I'm having to shit out rocks
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