I think i sorta joined a cult last night
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
