We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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