I looked at my own cervix.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
