When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So much rum. So many feels.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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