highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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