It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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