is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
