im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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