Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
