I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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