I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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