My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
