I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My ass is underappreciated
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
