is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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