Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
whose ass print is on the piano?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
