What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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