and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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