Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
