The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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