Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
