I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
