I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize
