New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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