she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
