My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
