You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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