Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
