now i know why i became what i already was.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
