Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
