capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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