Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Rumble strips road head = magical
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Randomize
