We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you win again, gameday.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
